Have you ever wondered how you could be thriving in one area of your life but struggling in another? I’ve been there too. Like, “what am I doing wrong?” “Why can’t I get this together?”

Here’s what I mean.

As a physician, I’ve been practicing pain management for over 15 years. I’m very good at what I do. I have trained and learned, and developed over time a competence and a practice that allows me to help those who are suffering from physical pain find relief and return to doing the things they love. I see a patient, I listen, examine, diagnose, treat, and repeat. I have been blessed with a set of skills that I use to treat those in pain and to educate others who seek to do the same.

Now, as a mom of a teenager…well, let’s just say, I haven’t quite figured that one out yet. Sometimes I feel like I’m winning; other times I feel like I have no clue how to get the boy out of bed! I wonder how I can be so competent in one area of my life, and just feel completely befuddled in another.

Have you ever felt that way?

It took me a while to realize that even though we are one person, our roles, perspectives, and responsibilities may all be on a different timeline, or, more specifically, a different stage of development or manifestation.

Just like a caterpillar transitioning to a butterfly has to go through four stages (yes, four ;-), you and I, in each of our roles, transform at different rates.

In one role, we may be in foundation, focused on growth, gaining knowledge, and developing the skills we need for what comes next. In another, we may be in transformation, where something in us is changing as we prepare to show up differently in that part of our lives.

We may be in preparation, that often-overlooked stage when the butterfly has emerged but isn't yet ready to fly. It has to pause, hang on the chrysalis, and strengthen its wings. Or, in another part of our lives, we may be in manifestation—fully formed and functioning in that role, doing exactly what we were designed to do in this season.

When I think about my life this way, I actually find it somewhat freeing.

Instead of looking at an area where I'm struggling and thinking, Why can't I get this together?, I can ask a different question:

What stage am I in here?

Because being highly developed in one area of my life doesn't mean I should expect to be at the same stage in every other area. And being in foundation or transformation doesn't mean I'm failing. It means there's still development happening.

Recognizing the stage helps me put what's happening in that role into perspective. It helps me understand what I may need to learn or develop before I can move forward. And perhaps most importantly, it gives me hope that where I am now isn't necessarily where I'll always be.

I'm not destined to suck at this. 🙂

So, is there one area or role in your life where you feel like you're not where you want to be? Instead of judging yourself by where you think you should be, ask yourself: What stage of the personal transformation process is this part of my life currently in?

Next week, I'll start breaking down what I've learned from going through each stage in different areas of my own life.

Remember, you're not destined to suck. The Ultimate Architect has a blueprint for your life. And just because one layer is still under construction doesn't mean anything has gone wrong.

You may simply still be developing. 🦋

Until next time,

Take care.

Stephanie G. Vanterpool, MD, MBA​
Physician • Educator • Researcher • Writer
Founder, Blueprints & Butterflies​

P.S. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Every reflection continues as a conversation on Substack.

🦋 Join the conversation:https://substack.com/@svanterpoolmd​

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